Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
