He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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