good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
