peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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