actually, I'm a sock model
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize