We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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