I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
