a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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