I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
