Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
