i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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