Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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