You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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