beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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