I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize