Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Pants are for mortals
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
