And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
