She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
