There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
