I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
