We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
