Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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