What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
