on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
