When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
