She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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