you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
