Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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