We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize