He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
