I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize