So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
