he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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