im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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