I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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