Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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