Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm at about main and main street
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
