She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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