ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize