I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
