i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
