The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
