Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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