I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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