Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
