Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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