Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
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Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am one with the molecules
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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