i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
