that's an acceptable place to lick
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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