508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
