morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
