I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
