I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
