you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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