This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
