Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
