is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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