So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
