Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
