Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
