the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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