yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
