Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
