Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
