tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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