You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
