If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
