shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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