I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
