i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize