im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
