Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
