Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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