some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
