wanna go halves on a baby?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
