I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
