she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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